December 18, 2008

Surgery and Recovering

Well, Although my surgery did not go off without any small hitches before hand (it was postponed for two days, throwing off my recovery plan and such), it did finally occur on Thurday Dec 11, 2008.

It was a long and very emotional process to having a hysterectomy. Although we had decided over a year ago that we were not having more children ourselves (Geary did something about it then). I had a proceedure in Feb this year to try and reduce or stop the bleeding problems that were occuring and it was wonderful for about 6 months. This proceedure was something that I knew would make it very risky if pregnancy occured (which we had solved already) and I was fine having that proceedure done (hydroablation).

It is just very weird to me how as a women, or at least for me, when my option was a hysterectomy or suffer, that my heart began to ache so deeply for one more baby and that giving up the ability to ever have more was so heart renching for me. I really struggled with this internally & emotionally for months. I even went to a therapist for a session regarding these deep feelings.

Well the surgery went pretty well. It was longer than anticipated, but it was completed smoothly. Hospital recovery was painful! Couldn't get enough meds to control pain to rest and the catheter was a huge annoyance. I had cotton mouth so bad that I thought I'd never speak again. When I was finally able to drink fluids I never quit drinking and cotton mouth never ceased.

I thought I should die when they made me walk and then when I needed to cough OH MY!!! Killer problem and I wanted to cry. I finally got to where I could move fairly well in the bed and did what i needed to to finally get food. They brought cream of wheat and scrambled eggs. ICK! What a disappointment.

Made it home safely between snow storms and have had a roller coaster of feeling like crap, restless, what was i thinking, sore, feeling human, half dead and somebody kill me please. I've started to experience some side effects of the surgery and they are interesting to deal with. At least I hope they are temporary and I don't see the doctor till Monday to find out.

I am soooo greatful for all the help I have received from my parents and Janis keeping Coltyn for the week of surgery and dealing with his MANY mischievious adventures. It was a long time to be away from him, but I could have never relaxed enough if it hadn't been for knowing he was in good, loving capable hands. Geary took this week off of work and that has for the most part been a relief. It's been hard not wanting to clean when I'm up and wondering why he hasn't yet. I'm not usually a clean freak, but for some reason the little things are what I notice when I'm awake and frustrate me.

I've been extremely blessed by my Father in Heaven through all of this with recent comfort & reasurrance, blessing from family, general blessings, safety and much more. He never seems to fail me even when I fail him or don't fully recognize and let him guide my life! AMAZING!